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So, if you are like me, you are probably wondering, after having Trump in office for less than a month, how we are going to survive the next four years? We are going to do it one day at a time, one crisis at a time, one lie at a time, and most importantly one convert at a time.
Convert. Yes, we must continue to talk and to convert. The following example is from someone on Facebook who shared her experience CONVERTING. She was asked, as so many of us have been:
“You know–many people don’t understand why the women were marching.” I immediately went into defense mode but he wouldn’t let it go. He kept asking questions, and then *LISTENED* to the answers. I shared with him the statistics on rape convictions. I told him about the rape kit backlog and gender rating and parental rights for rapists. I told him how many people could lose access to their health care if the ACA is repealed, and what this does to women who need prenatal care. I told him a little bit about my story of trying to report a crime and being victim blamed and he stood there–with his mouth wide open. Finally he said, “Wow. I had no idea. So…what do I do? How do I help?” You guys, if even just a FRACTION of us who marched have just ONE of these conversations and open even just one mind–we will make progress. Don’t let the negative comments and negative media get you down. It means people are talking and what we did worked. The largest and most peaceful demonstration in United States history will ripple out in ways we cannot even fathom. Just wait.”
This is beautiful. Explaining our thoughts, our reasons, why we are fighting, why we are speaking out. And sometimes we will win. Sometimes we won’t.
I lost my “relationship” with my father-in-law the week after the women’s March. Not that it was really a relationship since Mr. Velvet and I moved to Louisiana so he could attend graduate school. The man accused me of a double standard, tried to belittle my friends who argued with him, and then basically said he thought I could handle alternate options – although he never actually espoused any of them. He then said he would NEVER be a part of our lives again. Great! Because if this is how he engages, I do not want him in my life. Every battle is not going to be a win. But we still need to keep fighting and keep trying, because sometimes our voice and our arguments are going to make their way through. With that in mind, as we argue our points, here are some tips to try to remember: these are summarized from judyringer.com, an article on “Being Heard: 6 Strategies for Getting Your Point Across.”
- Understand your situation and their situation.
- Don’t sell, blame, or accuse. (Note: if they don’t have positive intent, this may not be something they are open to hearing.)
- Communicate your goals.
- Stay interested. Don’t forget that everything you experience is filtered through your perception.
- Center yourself and extend positive energy. Do not lose yourself in the argument.
- There are no guarantees. You may not win and you may never get your point across ever.
Rule number one is to protect yourself. If you are not taking care of yourself, your physical and psychological well-being, you cannot continue to fight the fight, argue, and stand up for what you believe in. Don’t engage when you are not going to get anywhere – that is the time to disengage and take care of yourself. We are in this for the next four years: This is a marathon, not a sprint.
Keep up the fight and support others who are fighting! Whether through words, articles, art, demonstrations – it is all resistance! Viva la resistance!!!