Do you ever have good things offered to you, and want more good things? In fact, you are sad if you don’t have more good things offered to you, because you loved the good things that you were doing? But do you have those times when you do have too much of a good thing? I have.
It isn’t because you don’t love those good things. You do and so do I! But most of the good things I am talking about (creating or curating shows, performing locally or in different cities or countries, creating new acts and new costumes) take time, take money, and take commitment. I realize that the older I get and the more I do, my time and commitment are huge commodities and I should be valuing them more than I do.
And, so I am stuck in a conundrum, if you will. I WANT to do ALL THE THINGS. I am SAD if I don’t get to do ALL THE THINGS. But, in reality, I am only one person and all the things take time. Even when I think I have that time, it means giving up other things that I value, including time with my spouse, time with my friends, time with my pets, time sleeping, and sometimes it means giving up my health and bits of my sanity. And most of the time it is totally worth doing A LOT OF THE THINGS. But, I realize it is never worth doing ALL OF THE THINGS, because I run myself too ragged to enjoy ALL OF THE THINGS.
And, then I also have a job… which pays me good money and lets me spend money on a house, and all things I need to live on and the things I need to create my art. And that takes time and commitment, too. And so, I have had to say no to things… I had to say no to a Burlesque Festival in New Zealand – a country I really really want to visit, and I had to say no to Carnaval with Kellita, which I have done before and is super fun – all because I already have too much to do. Now, some of that too much is work too much but a lot of that too much relates to fun and amazing shows and opportunities that I had already committed to before these opportunities came up.
In a similar perspective, an acquaintance of mine is going skiing in Austria for seven days. He is worried because he has never skied for more than 2 days at a time and he is going for seven days. When a friend advised him to “take it easy” and “monitor himself” and, perhaps, “take a day away from skiing while he is there,” he stated “BUT I am spending a TON of money on this trip.” But, to put this in perspective, if you have never skied more than two days and you push it on your third day, while exhausted, and hurt yourself, you could end up not skiing at all for the remainder of the trip. But, for example, if he skied for two days, took a break on the third day, skied four and five, break on six, ski on seven, he would actually ski much more than pushing himself to ski every day when his body is just not up for it. And he would probably have more fun doing it. (Not to mention time to do some other sightseeing as well.)
So, I don’t know about you, but I am discovering that I need to say “no” more, even if I am saying “no” to things I actually want to do. Otherwise, too many “yes” obligations may send me to an early grave… or at least to bed in pain and wanting to be dead. Now to find the balance… (maniacal laughter follows…)