I really don’t have time to learn from my mistakes, I am too busy making new ones.
I am not like you and I never will be.
Some people should use a glue stick instead of chapstick.
Decisions are not forever.
Every day is the end of the world for someone.
Don’t let the day be a total waste of makeup.
All I ever really needed to know, I learned from the Twilight Zone.
Other people will judge you. Don’t do it to yourself.
I could be who you want me to be, but it is better to just be myself.
There should always be enough time in your life for yourself.
When you have nothing it is easy to risk everything.
Just because you are struggling, does not mean you are failing.
Sometimes our priorities shift because our mood shifts.
Learn to admit when you fuck up.
Solve problems instead of just complaining about them.
It is not really hoarding if you have cool stuff.
If you’re not on, you’re off.
Housework won’t kill you, but why take any chances.
Anyone who thinks we need more eye contact has never been a woman alone on a bus.
When I am tired of shopping I sit down and try on shoes.
Follow your dream. Unless your dream is to live next door to me and have loud screaming children.
Holidays are a good time to visit family and spend a lot of time with their pets.
I would leave Santa cookies and milk but my Santa likes vodka and petit fours.
I remember the words my mother always said to me: “What the hell is wrong with you?”
My alone time is for everyone’s safety.
No one ever notices when you are provoked, only when you retaliate.
We must all do things that do not use our strengths.
Let each year bring more wisdom and experience and not just more grey hair.