Just because you stop wishing doesn’t mean you have to stop dreaming.
It is difficult to tell if some people are trying to be obnoxious or if they are just that way naturally.
Some day I need to learn to say no without putting the word ‘fuck’ in front of it.
There is working harder, working smarter, and working confusion.
There is only so much shit I can do at one time.
Beauty is skin deep but ugly goes all the way to the bone.
The computer is not always right.
Falling in love and having a relationship are not the same thing.
No, I don’t want to know your name for your penis.
No matter how hard I try I cannot make everybody happy.
Savor your obscurity.
Epaulets make everything look more important.
I know I am fucking amazing, but I still can’t do everything.
I said I like a clean house, I did not say I like to clean it.
It’s not that you ARE a dick, it’s just that you ACT like a dick.
Work would be so much easier if I just didn’t give a shit.
Having a dog in the room always provides a scapegoat for inadvertent farting.
Some people would be good at what they do if they ever actually did anything.
If you can’t think, don’t get a job that requires it.
I love pretty things and clever words.
A chronology is not the same thing as a narrative.
Some days I just need time alone with my teddy bear.
No, I really don’t want to deal with reality right now.
Torture between two consenting adults is perfectly acceptable.
Don’t hurt yourself trying to get back at others.
If you don’t build a strong foundation, small fixes will continue to be re-broken.
Electric car? Talk to me when it flies.
If I need my ass wiped, I’ll just use toilet paper.
Every night can’t be schnitzel night.
It’s not you, well…, yes it is, actually.
I would have more faith in our judicial system if money didn’t buy the quality of your defense.