Don’t touch anything and keep your mouth shut.
You don’t need to tie the noose for someone else when they are busy knotting it themselves.
Being a mother doesn’t mean you care.
Sometimes you have to cut off the finger to avoid losing the hand.
The more options you have the more likely you are to prevail.
When you leap over fire prepare to get your ass burned.
Some days are not the days that you planned.
You can always blame your parents.
There are people who don’t know and there are people who don’t want to know.
I speak my mind: I suppose you would if you had one.
I need an out of office assistant that just tells people: “leave me the fuck alone.”
Technology isn’t good or bad – It’s all about how you use it.
Only a rat can win in a rat race.
The biggest problem with most children is their parents.
The failure to take action has lost many a battle.
You can learn a skill: You can’t learn the passion for that skill.
If you want to make fried chicken, don’t start with the egg.
I am not arguing with you – I am just explaining to you why I am right.
When I grow up I want to smash the white homophobic patriarchal bullshit paradigm.
All of us stink under the right circumstances.
You can’t reason with insanity. If it’s your own, you might be able to shove it down into that dark, hollow part of your brain, but you still can’t reason with it.
Admitting you are an asshole is the first step.
Ever wish you could shoot some people with more than just a camera?
Stress: More exhausting than running a 10K.
When you only compare yourself to incompetence you can make yourself look amazing.
It’s Friday… Why are we still sober?
The best gifts are practical AND thoughtless.
You can only work with vipers so long before you become a viper.
Some call it bitching, I call it motivational speaking.
Thank you for needing me. Just don’t need me quite so much.