Some people are like slinkies – not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed downstairs.
I’m not bad, I just have different moral standards than you do.
If you don’t squeak occasionally people forget you are even there.
You will never be bored if you spend your spare time hatching evil plots and accomplishing twisted deeds.
Everything has been said before, but since people don’t listen, it must be said again and again.
When you can stay serene during the verbal and mental assaults others wage upon you, you win.
Life is messy.
Even gods do not take complete, foolproof, perfect precautions.
Just because I said I am done does not mean you get to stick a fork in my ass….
Some of the best things in life aren’t free.
You deserve to give yourself your own love and affection.
Make yourself at home – clean my kitchen.
Don’t talk to me. I’m only talking to my pets today.
The first 40 years of childhood are always the hardest.
Happiness is a state of mind, not a location.
You cannot find justice if you do not search for justice.
Don’t demand respect, command respect.
It is not necessary that we all think alike, only that we think.
Whisper my favorite words in my ear – “I’ll buy that for you.”
You can’t save money you don’t earn.
I bitch so that I don’t kill others.
Limited access to funds equates to limited access in justice.
Everyone has their limit.
You can burn your candle from both ends, but it is awfully hard to burn from the middle.
It isn’t that you aren’t good enough for me, it’s that I’m too good for you.
My house was clean and my pets were well behaved… And then I woke up.
Please, add another unimportant and time-consuming task to my workload.