Balance goes before a fall.
For the tenacious, no road is impassable.
An honest man won’t be called a liar.
The person who never fails never takes risks.
Do unto others before they do unto you.
A bird can still sing with a broken wing.
It is better to fall on one’s ass than one’s head.
Walking should not be a contact sport.
Cheaters prosper until they are caught.
When the lion lies down with the lamb, it may just be full from the one it ate earlier.
Serial killers only ruin families, corporate and political psychopaths ruin economies and societies.
Don’t be ruled by the doubts in your head.
Spit doesn’t make babies.
Life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself.
Where there’s a will, there’s a relative hoping to be mentioned.
You don’t need to run from the wolves when they aren’t even chasing you.
A journey of 1,000 miles begins with security checks at the airport.
Truth requires few words.
Anyone can talk to the dead, but very few can listen.
Aren’t you glad you bathe? Don’t you wish everyone did?
A DUI test is not a good time to start clicking your heels together while muttering, “there’s no place like home.”
Don’t bark if you aren’t prepared to bite.
One tax deduction for the rich and none for the poor.
It isn’t you, it’s them.
Don’t refuse to try the whipped cream just because you don’t like milk.
Those who have not learned lack knowledge, those that refuse to learn are idiots.
One swallow does not make a blow job.
One blow job does not make a relationship.
It all comes out pink in the wash when you leave the red socks in.
If a job is worth doing, it’s worth fucking up a few times first.
Sent from my iPad
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