If we were meant to be annoying we would be flies.
A fresh pair of underwear will make all the difference.
Ignore those who ignore you.
What doesn’t kill us usually makes for a great story.
People who live in glass houses should buy curtains or sell tickets.
When all else fails, feign insanity.
Less is less.
To err is human; to forgive is really, really hard.
The journey through life requires many shoes. Preferably expensive ones.
When you are poor you want to be rich and when you are rich you want to be rich.
If one wanders in increasingly smaller concentric circles, eventually, your head will get stuck up your own ass.
A bad dog looks the same as a good dog.
One choice impacts all others. A twitching dog relaxes no one.
Too much heart can lead to too little brain.
Work, work, work and keep your fingers to the rhinestones.
Sometimes, you just need to relax.
Don’t interrupt when your enemy makes mistakes.
A made bed isn’t as inviting as a rumpled blanket.
Desperate times call for desperate phone calls.
The milk of human kindness should never be dehydrated.
It is always good to find things before you ever realized they were missing.
Each day provides a new opportunity to determine whether you will use your powers for good or for evil.
Laughter is the best medicine, but prescription pain killers run a close second.
You may get older, but that is no reason to grow up.
Sometimes “none of the above” is the best choice.
A nasty coworker is best avoided, or, if possible, framed for embezzlement.
Don’t throw your dreams away; revise them.
A sick day will make you feel better.
Unlike the common cold, common courtesy is not contagious.
Nothing succeeds like excess.