Aaahhh… self confidence. Some people have way more than their capabilities warrant and others don’t have enough. It impacts every day social life, the job, all of the little daily tasks, and Lo! it even impacts performing. Self confidence is a big complex issue and you can be really self confident about one thing (like your ability to drive a car) and totally lack self confidence about something else (like doing acrobatics), even if your skill levels are 180 degrees opposite. I mean, I know some people who are very confident, but very bad (or at least very scary) drivers.
There is so much baggage and so many issues that are all mixed up with the self confidence portion of the brain that it could take gazillions of hours of therapy to iron it all out. I am not here to do that. There are many many things to say about self confidence, and it is difficult to know where to start, but I hope to address some of these issues for my own and others sanity. Since these are complex topics, I think it is best to address bits at a time and then I can have a whole series of blogs that I can create and that no one will read! Sounds exciting! Whoo!
Listed below are the issues that I (eventually) hope to address in this blog series on self confidence. Other ideas may erupt as the process develops, and please make suggestions if you have any compelling self confidence issues you, too, would like tips on. (But remember – I am not a therapist and don’t want to be. 🙂 )
- How to make yourself more confident for performing on stage
- How to fake it when you don’t got it (and how faking it can sometimes help create it)
- How to get through it when you really can’t even deal today – hell, it’s amazing you got out of bed even…
- Did I have to eat that dozen doughnuts yesterday? (also known as Why do I have a giant zit on my nose now?, Of course tonight had to be the night that my hair doesn’t behave!, Why is my butt sagging? etc.)
- Crap, [insert one] (I, you, he, she, it, they, god-like entity) fucked it up! (also known as, Anything can and will happen onstage in a live performance, or Grin and Bare it!)
- If something is worth doing well, it is worth fucking up a few times first
- How belittling yourself is a bad thing
- Having a good cry (or scream) when you need to (just not on stage)
- Building self confidence in others
- Avoiding making slimy comments about others just to make you feel better about yourself
- Accepting AND giving support as well as constructive criticism
- Are we having fun yet?
- Self Confidence vs. being a pompous ass
So that is my plan… let me know what you think. If you just think this is a total pile of bullcrap, then the section on “accepting and giving support as well as CONSTRUCTIVE criticism” should be just what you need!